Our Ceremony.

Since I'm still waiting on more pictures to surface, today, I'll provide the text from our wedding ceremony. I LOVE this ceremony. True story, I'd just sit and read and re-read it before the wedding. I just thought it was so fitting.

Throughout the process, we had said we wanted to be married in a ceremony that spoke to us -- not just a traditional ceremony because "we're supposed to." That's not us, and that wasn't how we wanted to start our marriage.

One of the best compliments I could have received that day was "I just loved the ceremony," or off-shoots of that. We received so many of those, I was shocked. I didn't expect people to embrace it, as 80+% of the guests are Catholic, and have only most attended Catholic weddings.

The bottom line is we did what we felt suited us best, and because people saw the honesty and thoughtfulness in it, they liked it. Or at least they claimed they did!

Oh well. So, without further adieu, here's the text: (**last names have been removed for privacy, as this blog is searchable**)

_____________________________

Introduction/Welcome

Good morning!
Everyone, please be seated.

Before we get started, let me introduce myself and explain a little about the ceremony.
My name is Nick. As many of you already know, I am a good friend of Tom and Beth, and this is the first wedding I have officiated.

Beth, Tom and I have worked together to create a ceremony that is meaningful for them and celebrates the love and affection they share with you: their family and friends.

You all are as much a part of this as Tom, Beth and even myself. You are not here to simply hear words uttered in ceremony, or just to witness the first kiss between husband and wife.

So, we ask for your active participation in this ceremony, just as you are active in their lives. You should feel free to clap and cheer and laugh as the mood strikes you.
And towards the end, I will ask you to join me, in pronouncing them a married couple.
Beth, Tom,
You're getting married!
(*hopefully audience will clap*)

Before we start, take a breath and look around you. All the planning and preparation, has come to fruition.

Your family, your friends, have all gathered to share in this morning with you. We have friends from childhood, high school, college, and your workplaces. We have brothers, and sisters, nieces and cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and dearest of all, moms and dads.
Today, we bring together not just two wonderful people, but two wonderful families.
Thank you all for coming.


Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony
Before we proceed with the rings and vows, Beth and Tom have chosen as a couple to perform a box, wine, and love letter ceremony.

*(reach down and pick up the box from behind the altar*)

In my hands, I have a box, a bottle of wine, and two glasses, and Beth and Tom have love letters from each to the other. The letters describe the good qualities they find in one another, the reasons they fell in love, and their reasons for choosing to marry.
They have given much thought to these letters, and they have been sealed in individual envelopes. Neither Tom, nor Beth has seen what the other has written.

Beth and Tom, should you ever find your marriage enduring serious hardships, as some marriages do, you are to, as a couple, open this box, sit and drink the wine together, then separate and read the letters you wrote to one another on the day you were united as a couple.
By reading these love letters, you will reflect upon the reasons you fell in love and chose to marry each other here today and share a new resolve to strengthen your relationship.

The hope is, however, that you will never have a reason to open this box. And if this is the case, you are to open it to share and enjoy its contents on your 20th anniversary!

Tom and Beth, please seal the box.
(*Beth and Tom put letters into the box with a lid, where they tie the bow on top of it together*)
_____________________
Reading
At this point, I’d like to read a piece titled “Union” by Robert Fulghum. Beth and Tom feel strongly that this reading represents their relationship, and their reason for being here today.
Union by Robert Fulghum

“You have known each other for years, through the first glance of acquaintance to this moment of commitment. At some moment, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with "When we’re married" and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" - those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. Just two people working out what they want, what they believe, what they hope for each other. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed - well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another - acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. You have learned that good company and friendship count for more than good looks. And you’ve learned that marriage is a maze into which we wander – a maze that is best got through with a great companion. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this - is my husband, this - is my wife.”

Vows
And with that, Beth and Tom will begin their vows.
Beth and Tom, please join hands and look at each other.
These are the hands of your best friend, of today and every day. These are the hands that will work along side yours as you build your future together. These are the hands that will lovingly hold your children. These are the hands that will help you as you struggle through difficult times. And lastly, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours.

My wish for you today is that you will be able to clear your heads and try to remember every word and cherish this memory. For most people, this is the most memorable few minutes of their life. So my wish for you today is that you enter into your vows with conviction, with your hearts open.

Tom, please go first:
Tom: I, Thomas Chester, choose you, Elizabeth Anne, to be my wife (PERSONAL VOWS – 30 seconds)
Beth?
Beth: I, Elizabeth Anne, choose you, Thomas Chester, to be my husband (PERSONAL VOWS – 30 seconds)

Rings
May I please have the rings?
(*Best Man gives rings to Nick*)

Rings have endured as a symbol of love and commitment because of their strength, durability and shape. These rings represent your home in each other. Every time you look at your ring, remember this night. Remember the feeling of excitement, the look in each other's eyes, and the love in your heart.

As you exchange rings, declare your commitment to one another.
(*Nick gives Beth’s ring to Tom*)
Tom, please repeat after me:
Beth, take this ring as a token of my love

which is true and ever-lasting.

With this ring, I thee wed.


Do you, Tom, take Beth as your wife, to love and support her, to treat her lovingly and with respect, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to be a faithful, committed partner, for all the days before you?
Tom: I do

(*Nick gives Beth’s ring to Tom*)
Beth, please repeat after me.
Tom, take this ring as a token of my love

which is true and ever-lasting.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Do you, Beth, take Tom as your husband, to love and support him, to treat him lovingly and with respect, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to be a faithful, committed partner, for all the days before you?
Beth: I do

The engagement ring is a symbol of promise and intention. Now the intention is realized
and the promise fulfilled. Please place your engagement ring on Beth’s finger over
her wedding band to symbolize that the love that brought you together will always protect and sustain your marriage.

Traditional Celtic Handfasting Ceremony
What is about to take place is a Traditional Celtic Handfasting ceremony. While at one point in Celtic regions, and still today in Scotland, this was recognized as a legal form of marriage, Beth and Tom have opted to participate in this ceremony as a lasting reminder about the honesty, sincerity, and commitment required of a marriage.

Nick: Please join hands. Tom, will you cause Beth pain?
Tom: I May
Nick: Is that your intent?
Tom: No
Nick: Beth, will you cause him pain?
Beth: I may
Nick: Is that your intent?
Beth: No
Nick: Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?
COUPLE: We will
Nick: First cord is draped across the bride and groom's hands
Beth, will you share his laughter?
Beth: Yes
Nick: Tom, Will you share her laughter?
Tom: Yes
Nick: Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
COUPLE: We will
Nick: Second cord is draped across the couples hands
Beth, will you burden him?
Beth: I may
Nick: Is that your intent?
Beth: No
Nick: Tom, will you burden her?
Tom: I may
Nick: Is that your intent?
Tom: No
Nick: Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
COUPLE: Yes
Nick: Drape third cord across the couples hands
Beth, will you share his dreams?
Beth: Yes
Nick: Tom, will you share her dreams?
Tom: Yes
Nick: Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?
COUPLE: We will.
Nick: Drape fourth cord across the couples hands
Nick: Tom, will you cause her anger?
Tom: I may
Nick: Is that your intent?
Tom: No
Nick: Beth, will you cause him anger?
Beth: I may
Nick: Is that your intent?
Beth: No
Nick: Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
COUPLE: We Will
Nick: Drape fifth cord across the couples hands
Nick: Beth, Will you honor him?
Beth: I will
Nick: Tom, Will you honor her?
Tom: I will
Nick: Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
COUPLE: We will
Nick: Drape sixth cord across the couples hands. Tie cords together while saying:

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making and the breaking of this union.

Group Blessing

Each of you are here today because you bring something special to the lives of Beth and Tom. Some of you have known one or both of them for years - and some of you are
meeting one of them for the very first time today. But whether you’re an old friend or a newly acquired relation, you have a special place in their hearts. Likewise, you have a special purpose. As beloved family and friends, it is you to whom they’ll turn in the coming years, whether in joy or in sorrow. It is you with whom they’ll share their happiness, and you to whom they’ll bring their pain. You will watch their marriage mature; you will watch their children grow.And when hard times come, and the loving support of friends and family is needed, Beth and Tom hope to be able to turn to you, just as they will turn to each other.

And so they ask that you commit to them, as they are committing to one another. That just as they pledge to support and protect the other, you pledge to support and protect their relationship, today and always."

When prompted, please answer “We do”.

They ask: Do you offer this man and woman your blessing as husband and wife?
Please say, we do. (We do.)
And do you offer their marriage your support, as loving friends and family?
Please say, we do. (We do.)

Pronouncement
Tom and Beth, you have signed the legal paperwork. You have received the blessing of your family and friends, made vows, and exchanged rings.

Now, I ask everyone to join me in this pronouncement, saying together, in full voice:

And please repeat after me:
We, your family and friends,
now pronounce you husband and wife!

Tom, you may kiss the bride

(*Beth and Tom kiss! Hopefully everyone else cheers.*)

I am very happy to introduce, for the first time as a married couple,
Tom and Beth!

What I'm Doing Now...

Obsessively checking the 15-day weather forecasts.

I am happy to report that there is not a drop of precipitation near August 9th. Cross your fingers it stays that way...



Coincidence that our wedding day is the only one labelled "Sunshine"? I think not...

Surreal...

Today, I've started working on a rough draft of our ceremony.

It is so absolutely surreal to see, on paper, our names, our vows...it's totally strange!

At this point, it's about 9 pages, which I think is pretty good. The rule of thumb is that it takes 1 minute per page to read aloud, which I think we can effectively round up to 2 minutes, to ensure enough time. Maybe, eventually I'll post this for critique, but right now, a) it's WAY too long, and b) it's way too close to my heart to let others (besides Tom and our officiant, and maybe my mom) see.

Seriously, I just can't get over how real this is all starting to feel! It's about time!!! :)

Handfasting: Yay or Nay?

*I may have posted this before, but bear with me, as I think it's worth repeating!)

Handfasting, a traditional Celtic marriage ceremony, is something that has always intrigued me. This is where the term "tying the knot" derived from, and I absolutely love the honesty and simplicity of the ceremony.

We haven't decided if we're going to do this yet, but I'd like to consider it.



Traditional Handfasting Ceremony:

CELEBRANT: [Groom's Name], Will you cause her pain?

GROOM: I May

CELEBRANT: Is that your intent?

GROOM: No

CELEBRANT: [Bride's Name], Will you cause him pain?

BRIDE: I may

CELEBRANT: Is that your intent?

BRIDE: No

CELEBRANT: To Both
Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?

COUPLE: We will

CELEBRANT:
And so the binding is made. Join your hands
First cord is draped across the bride and groom's hands

[Bride's Name], Will you share his laughter?

BRIDE: Yes

CELEBRANT:
[Groom's Name], Will you share her laughter?

GROOM: Yes

CELEBRANT:
Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?

COUPLE: We will

CELEBRANT:
And so the binding is made.
Second cord is draped across the couples hands

[Bride's Name], Will you burden him?

BRIDE: I may

CELEBRANT: Is that your intent?

BRIDE: No

CELEBRANT:
[Groom's Name], Will you burden her?

GROOM: I may

CELEBRANT: Is that your intent?

GROOM: No

CELEBRANT: To Both
Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?

COUPLE: Yes

CELEBRANT:
And so the binding is made.
*Drape third cord across the couples hands*

CELEBRANT:
[Bride's Name], will you share his dreams?

BRIDE Yes

CELEBRANT:
[Groom's Name], will you share her dreams?

GROOM: Yes

CELEBRANT: To Both
Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?

COUPLE: We will.

CELEBRANT:
And so the binding is made.

Drape fourth cord across the couples hands

CELEBRANT:
[Groom's Name], will you cause her anger?

GROOM: I may

CELEBRANT: Is that your intent?

GROOM: No

CELEBRANT:
[Bride's Name], will you cause him anger?

BRIDE: I may

CELEBRANT: Is that your intent?

BRIDE: No

CELEBRANT: To Both
Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?

COUPLE: We Will

CELEBRANT: And so the binding is made.
*Drape fifth cord across the couples hands*

CELEBRANT: [Bride's Name], Will you honor him?

BRIDE: I will

CELEBRANT: [Groom's Name], Will you honor her?

GROOM: I will

CELEBRANT: To Both
Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?

COUPLE: We shall never do so

CELEBRANT: And so the binding is made.
Drape sixth cord across the couples hands

Tie cords together while saying:
The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making and the breaking of this union.

Muzak...

I've been DYING to post about our ceremony music choices, but oddly, have refrained for quite a while.

It's of no surprise to any of you that Tom and I are not taking the orthodox music route. Even when we were looking into getting married in a church, the admission of secular music was something I refused to budge on (and similarly, the Catholic church refused to budge, so there went that...).

I'm not a "Bridal March" kind of girl. It's not who I am. Instead, Tom and I have tried to find music that we feel embodies us and our relationship. To me, music is such a personal and emotional thing that I couldn't see choosing from an arbitrary list of standard wedding songs. I knew that when I walked down the aisle, and Tom saw me for the first time (the one thing he refuses to budge on), I wanted music in the background that fit.

So, onward with our unorthodox playlist:

As guests gather, chat, and are seated, it's important to me that we set the mood. Rather than play Canon in D (not knocking, I love me some classical music), I want upbeat, sweet and silly music. A few choices thus far:

• This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
• Love Story - (Taylor Swift) - partially an inside joke with a coworker, partially because for no sane reason I want to cry during the last verse, and partially because Tom sings a rousing rendition of this song where he changes the lyrics Weird Al style :)
• Walking on Sunshine - Katrina & the Waves
• Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours) - Stevie Wonder

...and the like. I'm just shooting for a really fun, sweet atmosphere.

Onto the processional: I have my heart set on 2 songs for the processional. The first you should recognize from my handy, dandy music player on this blog. 1,2,3,4 by the Plain White T's is not only a fun, cute song that I fell in love with the instant I heard it, but the band itself has some significance as Nic (my Maid of Honor) and I went and saw them in concert almost 2 years ago. They were one of my favorite bands before they got popular! :)

To begin the processional, we're switching the order around a bit. After the mothers walk down the aisle, my nieces will walk down. Normally the flower girls directly precede the bride, but since Tom has been such a huge part of their childhood (Madalyn was 3 weeks old when we began dating, and Tom met my family for the first time at her christening), we felt it was only appropriate to have them walk down first, walk straight down to Tom, and give him a hug before they sit in their respective places. Then, my sisters will follow (and possibly hug Tom as well), to round out the processional.

As I begin my walk, my FAVORITE song ever will play: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. (You can also hear this on the music player to the right of your screen). I first heard this song around the time that Tom and I were debating moving the wedding up, and the lyrics just spoke to my heart:

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Le sigh. I LOVE it. Whenever I hear this song, I practically melt into a puddle.

In the ceremony, I don't believe we'll have any other music. Since the ceremony is short, there's really not much need for it...

So, for the big finish, my maid of honor has something up her sleeve. Because there's no practical way to keep this a surprise from me, I know the basic gist of it. I know it involves another one of my favorite songs, a live band, and is derived from my favorite scene from my favorite movie. I don't know the exact details, but I do know that I am SO SUPER EXCITED for this, and think it will be one of my favorite moments of the day. But since I can't really ruin my own "surprise," I'll recap this after the wedding!

So there you have it. Our completely crazy, non-standard ceremony soundtrack. :)

Making it Official, With Stone...

I'm sorry I keep dwelling on the same subjects this week, but I'm just super excited that we are FINALLY making some headway in the planning. Besides the rings and ties (which I'm still patiently waiting on), I'm finalizing the ceremony site today.

While it's still a little early to be making our last payment, there's a reason for the madness.

This bad boy right here:



Part of the ceremony "package" with the park district is a free engraved brick to be placed in the garden where the ceremony takes place. Tom and I thought it would be more fun to have the brick there the day we were getting married, instead of after. So, we have to pay the money and choose our inscription this week to meet the deadline before August.

I am sooo excited about this brick! I've already decided that we're going to make a big, obvious sign with an arrow pointing towards it that says something like "Look Down" to point it out, and I want to get a picture of our rings with it. :)

Ceremony Details and Whatnot...

Update: Totally bought the coat yesterday! Thanks for the advice!

So below is a picture of the setup of the ceremony site. My apologies for the pixelation and blurriness --- it was originally a small 75x75 size shot, so I enlarged it...

As you can see, this setup has an aisle runner (which we're foregoing) and subsequent petals on the aisle (which we're also thinking of nixing).

Our florist, creative genius that she is, has tons of suggestions and ideas for me! Her first thought was to line just the sides of the aisle in white petals. It's a little different than the traditional scatter, but for some reason, I'm just not in love with the idea.

Then I found this picture:

(Via StyleMePretty)

As Kristen (the florist) put it, it's like petal carpet! I just think it lends a very ethereal, romantic look to it...

Then, she had another brilliant idea: adding chair sashes to the unfortunately ugly chairs we'll be working with. Like this:

(From the archives of Kio Kreations)

Our sashes are being custom-matched to our "apple green," by the fabulous Czarina at The Chair Couture. Coincidentally, this is the same fabulous linen place I referred to for the '10 wedding plans. To cover all of our chairs, it will cost about $100! Plus, we're not even being charged for the custom color!

So, with all that in mind, does anything strike you in terms of petal decor or the arch (in the top picture)?

PS - Here's a picture of the conservatory at Wilder Park. Talk about fabulous picture opportunities!!

Ceremony Reading

One of the main reasons Tom and I decided to pursue a secular outdoor ceremony was because we had the freedom to choose the readings, vows and music that we felt defined us best, rather than choosing from a predefined list of readings and music.

Controversial, maybe. But in the end, the day is about the beginning of our marriage, and we want it to accurately reflect our relationship.

Below is an excerpt from a ceremony that I fell in love with once I read it. I'm posting it here not only to share it, but also so I never lose it! :-)

What do you all think??


"Union" by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other for years, through the first glance of acquaintance to this moment of commitment. At some moment, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with "When we’re married" and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" - those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. Just two people working out what they want, what they believe, what they hope for each other. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed - well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another - acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. You have learned that good company and friendship count for more than good looks. And you’ve learned that marriage is a maze into which we wander – a maze that is best got through with a great companion. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this - is my husband, this - is my wife.

Stupid Purchase??

So while at the Salvation Army shopping for part of Tom's Halloween costume, I ran across this:

Well, minus the iron stand. The price? $12.50. What it's selling for at Target is $29.99.

I didn't buy it. YET.

I figured I could sleep on it and go back the next day (today) and pick it up if I wanted to. And I do WANT to. I'm just not sure if it's worth it.

The idea would be to get 2, (I can always purchase the other from Target or check out a different Salvation Army since they get Target cast-offs), and set up a table at the ceremony for beverages.

Like this:

Cute idea, no?

As much as I love it, and know it would be fairly simple to pull off (some water, lemonade mix, some sliced lemon to float on top and a few cups), I feel like it's definitely something we could do without.

But on the other hand, for $50 (after purchasing both jars and the table cloth), it seems like it could be a nice touch that is much appreciated. Remember, it will be a warm, June afternoon outside and I'm sure people would appreciate some cool water & lemonade.

Hmmm. Maybe I could just buy the one for $12.50 and serve water only...

Thoughts??

PS - In case you're wondering and I didn't mention it earlier, Tom's Halloween costume is the Hulk. He's teaching at his elementary school this morning, so he's been directed to take lots of pictures of him and the kids. Hopefully I'll be able to post them this weekend!!!

Multi-Purpose Programs!

So I've had the vision in my head for dual-purpose programs, and as much as I tried to explain them to people, I don't think I was getting my vision across.

And then I found these and all was right in the world. Sorta.



So I want something similar to these, but a little more rectangular in shape, and the paper will be the bluish/aqua to match the invitations. I also want to be able to use both sides of the program, the first for the actual ceremony, and the back for the wedding party and a brief note, much like this example.

I really like the idea of the blue paper, but I'm afraid that the ink (either white or green) will be too difficult to read, especially with the smaller font. We might end up going the ivory paper route with the blue writing, which I think will look better.

Thoughts?

Please Direct Your Attention to the Top Right Corner.

Good looking couple, eh? ;)

Now, look up about an inch.

Looking at the poll? Good!

So let's talk times, here. If we have the flexibility to have the wedding whenever we want, what would be the best time?

There are a variety of factors that influence this decision, including but not limited to # of out of town guests (Tom's grandparents and a few aunts and or uncles), availability of caterer/photographer/officiant, driving distance for guests, etc.

I really like the idea of a 2 p.m. ceremony with cocktails at 2:30 and dinner to follow around 3:30. Could that even really be called dinner??

Or instead, could we do something entirely unique with the ceremony at 2:00 and the actual food served at 2:30? If it was more cocktail-style as we envision, it might make for a smooth transition...? We can do our entrance, a quick toast or two, then escape for pictures as everyone eats and mingles, then begin the dancing at 3:30...?

If the reception ends around 6:30, that's still PLENTY of sunlight for the out-of-towners to drive home in, and we have lots of time for an after-party (read: Bowling!)

The only downside I can think of is just the awkward mealtime.

Deal breaker?

All in the Details...

So as I spend more time looking at pictures, thinking about venues, etc., the vision of the day becomes a clearer picture in my mind. Though I'm prone to changing it often (I've "planned" for at least 4 different places/dates now), I feel fairly certain that this vision will stick.

But that's partly because I've already spent money on the paper for the invites and the dress, so there's no way to turn back now! ;)

So anyhoodle, I've spent some time the past few days thinking about what the wedding would be like at any of the sites below, and the vision is fairly similar. I'd like to stick with the common chord of "garden elegance" but still have the fun, fresh touches that stop this from becoming a stuffy affair.

Idea #1: Lace.

I like lace in small quantities. I certainly don't want it everywhere, lest this look like the special occasion fabric section at a craft store, but I'd like to incorporate it in small touches. For instance, the tables:


(DeNormandie Party Linens)

Please ignore the crazy centerpiece and chair that could double as a fancy toilet. However, please pay special attention to the lace topper. Picture that on top of both pool blue and apple green linens. In my head, I think the blue will look better, but I like the color green more.

I'd also like to incorporate it into the ceremony (if it is outdoors, that is), but having it become part of the canopy (sorta like a chuppa), or even as an aisle runner (in lieu of flower petals).

And I love it at the bottom of this dress too:


(Jenny Yoo Bridal)

Just barely noticeable :)


Idea #2: Flowers.

Fairly self-explanatory, right? Too bad there's this little problem called a BUDGET. So, my thoughts for fresh flower centerpieces without the cost are this:



or actually doing a simple DIY project the night before. I can get vases as cheap as $2 a piece, and we could make a run to Trader Joe's or even a regular grocery store and buy several of their mixed bouquets. They can easily be split in half (or smaller depending on the size of the vases), running the cost to approx. $5 per arrangement.

Sigh. Roses and lace? I really am a lot more girly than I let on to be.

Drumroll, Please: The Danada House

I am a very self-aware person.

For instance, just today, I realized that I'm a bit of a drama queen. Situations arise, blood pressure skyrockets, hours pass, situations diffuse. That's pretty much how I operate.

I also know that I'm pretty transparent. Not in a shallow sort of way, but in a I-can't-hide-my-emotions-well-at-all-unless-I'm-really-trying-and-I'm-absolutely-no-good-at-surprises kind of way.

So I'm sure you've all guessed that the Danada House is my favorite. Heck, I might have said that already. But that's besides the point.

I'd heard of this place during my original 3 searches for venues, but it was barely a blip on my radar. First, I thought it was going to be uber-expensive. Second, I tend to ignore places in cities I rarely visit, including Wheaton.

But I searched it out and low and behold, this is what I found:



The splendor that is the Danada House.

It's pretty without being over the top, it's classic without being outdated, it's unique without being odd, and best of all, since it's nestled back on the grounds of the forest preserve, it offers us the natural setting we've been looking for.

And while the outside of the atrium isn't nearly as pretty, (see below):



The inside more than makes up for it!!!



Look at all the natural light!!! Windows --- tons of them! And a skylight! And some weird lighting that I'm sure will look great once it gets dark. And it seats 250, which means we'll have ample space!!!!

Though the fee to rent it is a bit high ($3,200), the fact that their caterers are more than reasonable makes up for it. Priced out, a menu comparable to Montefiori is $10,500. And that includes tax and gratuity. And a full bar.

What we don't like is the location. It's at least a 30 minute drive from the church. Couple that with the only available ceremony times (2:30), and the available reception time of 6:00, and we have quite the gap.

So, we've brought back up the possibility of having a secular ceremony on the grounds.

Like this:


Amazing, right???

And the price to have the ceremony (basically the cost of renting the chairs) is cheaper than the donation to the church.

There's much, much more I could say about this (including the fact that the florist I want has done many events there!), but I'll stop for now. The manager let me know that they're showing the house this Sunday from 9:30-11 am, before a wedding. I'm working with Tom to see if we can make it over there.

We'll keep you updated! :)

A Candlelit Ceremony

So by now, I think you all have realized that I'm not a truly traditional person. While I respect (and love) some antiquated traditions, I HATE doing things because they are "the standard" as much as I HATE doing things because I'm told to.

Which is why I'm not a fan of Catholic weddings. Or churches. Or music stipulations. Or Archdiocesan rules. But alas, that's all fodder for many, many more posts to come. :)

I'd really like to personalize the ceremony, which is no small task, considering who I'm up against. But, a post I came across from a fellow Chicago Catholic bride has given me hope. And inspiration. And I'd like to rip off her idea. Because I love it. So many thanks to The Everyday Bride!

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This is a bride's recounting of "an extended unity candle ceremony":

"We lit our unity candles and then the officiant said a few words about how everyone in the room helped us as a couple become who we are and helped us to the point we were at that day and we wanted to honor that in sharing the flame of our unity candle. Brett and I then lit a long fireplace match from the candle and together lit each person on the end in the front row's candles. They then shared it backwards from there. To conserve time, the ushers also lit up the aisle. They only had them lit through our vows and then we did rings and kissed and blew them out after the recessional... "

And this is the ceremony for a group blessing:

"Each of you are here today because you bring something special to the lives of M. and D. Some of you have known one or both of them for years - and some of you are meeting one of them for the very first time today. But whether you’re an old friend or a newly acquired relation, you have a special place in their hearts. Likewise, you have a special purpose. As beloved family and friends, it is you to whom they’ll turn in the coming years, whether in joy or in sorrow. It is you with whom they’ll share their happiness, and you to whom they’ll bring their pain. You will watch their marriage mature; you will watch their children grow.And when hard times come, and the loving support of friends and family is needed, M. and D. hope to be able to turn to you, just as they will turn to each other."
"And so they ask that you commit to them, as they are committing to one another. That just as they pledge to support and protect the other, you pledge to support and protect their relationship, today and always."

"When prompted, please answer “We do”."

"They ask: Do you offer this man and woman your blessing as husband and wife?"

"Please say, we do.
(We do.)"

"And do you offer their marriage your support, as loving friends and family?"

"Please say, we do.
(We do.)"

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I LOVE it! Now if only I can get our church to agree to it...