With Open Hearts, Clear Minds & Conviction

Tom and I had a lovely weekend -- sure, it was busy and eventful, containing smatterings of family, friends, parties, broken car windows, unexpected expenses, wedding tasks, and thankfully, a little R&R.

Among the most eventful things, however, was a resolution we made. From today (well, yesterday) onward, we decided that we will not stress out or let anything in the next 13 days (!) bother us. Que sera, sera. We're not dumb -- we understand things will go wrong, unexpected issues will arise, things will be lost, forgotten, etc. Bearing all that in mind, we have made a conscious commitment to each other to not let it bother us, and to not let anything ruin the next few days for us.

I think it hit us both yesterday, as we spent an afternoon shopping online for new luggage, that once these next 2 weeks are over, we will no longer be dating. We will no longer be engaged. We will no longer be Tom and Beth, technically single. We will be Tom and Beth, married.

I know that sounds fairly obvious to all of you, considering you're reading a wedding planning blog. But taking into account that we've been dating for 6 years, and engaged for 2 of those, it's all we've known.

We've been looking forward to this day, and all that will follow it, for what feels like centuries. To have it so close, so impossibly tangible, it's almost unbelievable. I realized yesterday that I feel like I've been holding my breath. Just waiting, waiting, waiting....and now it's finally time to let it out, relax, and ENJOY all that the next few weeks (and again, beyond!) have to offer.

So, as our title says, and so do our vows, with open hearts, clear minds, and conviction, we have decided to reside on Cloud 9 for the remaining days of our engagement. Feel free to find us there, and if you have any problems, leave 'em at the door!

Happy 100th Blog Post (& a Very BIG Announcement!)

So today's post marks an important milestone for every blogger -- 100 posts. I knew this post was coming soon, so I will admit that I waited until I had some exciting news to share before posting. I certainly didn't want to use this post to discuss linen colors.

Before the announcement, let me just quickly say that I very much appreciate you readers, from the ones who happened to stumble upon my blog accidentally to those family members who were threatened with the silent treatment if they didn't leave valid comments. I have a lot of fun writing this, and it definitely is sweeter knowing there are people who actually read it!

On to the big announcement:

We're moving the wedding to this summer!!

Those of you who have been around since the beginning may recall my purgatory post. With 18 months to go before the wedding, both Tom and I were continuing feeling a significant amount of angst. The idea of eloping was thrown out, semi-seriously, but was nixed on account of all the family and friends we're so excited to share this day with. We've taken a few weeks to think, discuss, and decide upon our options, which explains my lack of enthusiasm towards the end of December. With so much up in the air, we couldn't, in good faith, continue to plan a wedding which neither one of us wanted.

This isn't to say the wedding we were planning wasn't spectacular, just that it wasn't worth waiting for. As the days pass, I'll begin to reveal more clues about our upcoming nuptials. Since we have significantly reduced our planning time, most of this is coming together rather quickly, so stay tuned! :)

3 Hours Alone + Computer + HGTV = Trouble.

So while Tom (side note: I'm dropping the initial thing because I FINALLY realized that since our names were in the url I was just being stupid!) is off at an in-service and staff meeting, I'm here, alone, with a computer, HGTV, and carte blanche to spend time as I see fit.

Anyone care to guess what the 5 other screens are opened to:
1) House listing
2) Budget calculator
3) Fantasy football score
4) Wedding scenario #2
5) Wedding scenario #3

So while the idea of moving the wedding up is practically dead, I figured I would do some re-con work anyway, so if the opportunity arises, I can be prepared. :)

So, let's just pretend for a few minutes, shall we??

Scenario #2: A Cocktail Reception @ Cog Hill

One thing Tom will not budge on is the size of the guest list. We're looking at about 200 people. Yikes. To include everyone on a much shortened budget, we can host a cocktail reception as I mentioned earlier in the week. At CH, we can have an open bar, 10-12 pieces of food p/p, plus a dessert buffet for about $5,500. No joke. Tempting, eh????



So if we went this route, I wouldn't change the color scheme or such. I'd shorten the event to about 3 hours or so, with an after-party option ---something simple: a bonfire, bowling, etc.

Other expenses: flowers & photography (and speakers for an iPod hookup, maybe?)

Scenario #3: An Intimate Family-Style Affair

So if for some reason Tom was to cave on his original guest list demands and we kept it simple (i.e. immediate family & grandparents only), I would LOVE to have a small, intimate sit down dinner @ Maggiano's. A huge family-style dinner consisting of appetizers, 2 salads, 2 pasta dishes, 2 meats and 3 desserts is only $24.95/person. Crazy, I know!!! Add on a consumption bar, taxes and other misc., the price tag is less than $1,200.



If we did this, then I would nix the blue/green scheme and just opt for a simple bouquet of light pink peonies and a simple boutonniere for him. All other flowers would probably be nixed.



Music/dancing would probably be limited, and the party would be relegated to Lucky Strike Lanes over in Lombard. I LOVE this place. Instead of hard, plastic chairs, the bowling alley has sectional couches, red velvet curtains, low-hanging paper lanterns, and just an overall fun atmosphere.

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Anyone out there have any fantasy budget scenarios out there?????????

A Reserved Spot in Purgatory.

Main Entry: pur·ga·to·ry
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural pur·ga·to·ries
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French or Medieval Latin; Anglo-French purgatorie, from Medieval Latin purgatorium, from Late Latin, neuter of purgatorius purging, from Latin purgare
Date: 13th century
1: an intermediate state after death for expiatory purification; specifically : a place or state of punishment wherein according to Roman Catholic doctrine the souls of those who die in God's grace may make satisfaction for past sins and so become fit for heaven
2: a place or state of temporary suffering or misery
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As you'll have noticed by my previous post, T and I (okay, mostly me, but a little bit of him, too!) are struggling with the "purgatory" feeling. There's nothing easy about waiting. Does it make the planning process easier?? Not really. What you do gain in time you lose in angst and second-guessing.

Has this been magnified by the onslaught of friends and acquaintances getting married, buying houses, having kids...definitely. But it's always been there, under the surface, waiting for an opportunity to arise.

Neither one of us are where we want to be. He's stuck in school, and though he enjoys a lot of it, he's looking forward to graduation. I have a job that I enjoy, but knowing that I come to work everyday just to put money aside for the wedding kills me.

Would chucking the whole thing be easier? Who knows. Everything's a trade-off. The stress of waiting would be traded for the stress of having a mortgage and paying bills. The waiting by the phone every night to talk to each other would be replaced with waiting on the couch for the other to come home.

And I may be naive, but it seems to me that the end result, being able to spend everyday together, trumps it all.

So where do we go from here? Do we suck it up and muddle through? Do we jump and figure it all out later? Do we compromise and move the wedding up? There seems to be no clear cut answer. All three options have impossibilities written all over them.

Anyone have any brilliant Dr. Phil/Dr. Laura advice out there? Again, to follow up from yesterday, any regrets??? ANYTHING? I'm really struggling here...