An Unofficial Decision: Timing, Food & Drinks

So though I sort of took a wedding break last week, my unfortunate little brain has been working overtime thinking about all this lately. As I'm a person who can't really handle situations left unsettled, it's not surprising that I'm trying to plan timelines and make decisions 20 months before the wedding.

Gross number, I know.

So, I haven't really consulted Tom about all this yet (mainly because I know his response will be "Umm, yeah, sure." followed by a "Wait, we never talked about this." two months later). BUT, the following are all the thoughts swimming in my pretty little head and I really don't want them up there anymore.

Reception type: Heavy Hors d'ouerves --- Instead of having a separate cocktail hour and "stations" type dinner hour, we'll just combine them. The food will be ready once the ceremony ends, so everyone will gather in the house, grab a drink, we'll walk in, have a toast or two and grace, then everyone can dig in. Meanwhile, we'll sneak out the back for some pictures, then come in when we're finished to kick off the dancing...

Food: Upscale colloquial. Is that even a term? Well, it is now. My thoughts are to stick with some of the foods that we love, but dress them up a bit. For instance, Tom and I spend obscene amounts of time and money at Buffalo Wild Wings. I think it's only appropriate to have buffalo wing bites on skewers, or something similar. And how about those super fun miniature burgers? And of course, my favorite idea ever: the mashed potato bar!!! We'd probably still do the carved prime rib and the fresh fruit and cream station, too.

Drinks: Undecided. Still. Ugh. So I'm still really torn on this whole issue. I love the idea of doing a few signature cocktails, and while I don't think a full bar is necessary (especially at 3:00 in the afternoon), I still feel like that's being a poor host. But when you host a dinner party at your home, how many people have a full bar prepared anyway? Don't you most of the time offer guests their choice of a few beers, wines, and a cocktail or two??? My initial thoughts are an Appletini, Jack & Coke (Tom's favorite), and maybe a mojito. Of course, we'd probably offer a few beers (Rolling Rock --again, Tom's favorite-- and Corona), and a white and red wine, too. Then towards the mid/end of the night, we'd break out the coffee/cocoa bar (more to follow on that later!). Plus, I have another trick up my sleeve for the non-alcoholic beverages.

Reader question: What's the most popular drink to order at bars? Also, what do you usually order???

I Need a Favor.

I need you to comment on this post.

Here goes:

Let's revisit the dessert reception idea. I'm still fairly torn as to what to do.

The Pros:

• Delicious!
• Unique
• Cost-effective
• Allows for variety
• Allows for mingling
• Shorter reception (that's a Pro to me!)

The Cons:

• Might not hit everyones' tastes
• Too unique?
• Timing is strange
• No structured order of events

So, this is my school of thinking right now:

12:30 pm Ceremony @ church (no mass, just ceremony)
1:00-ish - ceremony ends, begin BRIEF pictures ( I don't want a lot at the church...)
1:30 - Reception begins (only about 15 minute drive tops, so that works out...)
2:00 - Bridal party entrance after pictures, segues right into first dance...
4:30 - finish

Invitations would read "Dessert reception to follow" in order to make it very clear that there is no standard meal provided.

Desserts would be in abundance, approx. 8 selections per person (including cake slice).

So for the questions:

As a guest, would you find this to be "acceptable"?

As a member of the bridal party (if you are), would you mind a 12:30 ceremony, meaning preparations would begin potentially around 8 am?

Pick Your Poison: What Type of Reception?

So the standard in our family (which is by no means the standard I'm holding myself to, as weddings are not strictly about tradition and "keeping up with the joneses") is to have a sit-down dinner. Whether this meal is buffet, family-style, or plated, we've pretty much seen it all.

So what are your thoughts on having a cockail/hors d'ouerves reception?

Now, before you pass out or start praying to the patron saints of traditional weddings, let me clarify a few things.

• We would not be serving at 5, 6, 7, or 8 pm, when one would assume the host of a party would provide a full, seated meal. As the church allows either 11:30 am or 1:30 pm weddings, the latest our reception would begin is 3 pm.
• Food would be plentiful. Not only would there probably be a buffet including vegetable crudites, meat and cheese platters, and fruit trays, I would also want to have a carving station or two with fresh roast beef, turkey, or ham, along with a few other fun stations. One great idea I saw was to have a "Mashed Potato Bar" where fresh potatoes are served in martini glasses with a variety of toppings (chives, sour cream, cheese, broccoli, bacon bits, butter, etc.). No one, not even my dear fiance who could share his dinner with a small country, would walk away hungry from this. Hopefully.
• A shorter reception, say 3-7, would provide the framework for a fun after-party, say bowling...
• Libations would also be flowing liberally: beer, wine, cocktails, non-alcoholic beverages, plus a few other crazy things I have up my short sleeve...
• Fear not, there will still be plenty of seating. And while we may not end up doing all traditional tables, there still will be enough seats for everyone...

Even though I have quite the appetite as well, I often leave food on several of my plates throughout the typical 7-course wedding meals. The food is too much, too heavy, usually too cold, undercooked or rubbery, as well. And while this option could save us more money in the long run, I feel more that we're not cutting costs to cut costs, but rather cutting costs to cut waste and excessiveness.

I know I've listed mainly pros, so I'd like two things from my commenters: 1) Your honest opinion (love it, hate it, meh), and 2) Play devil's advocate --- give me the cons (and more pros if you feel like it...).

In the meantime, I'll be searching for pictures to help your imaginations!!!