Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The 2 Sides of a Wedding

Lately, I haven't quite been feeling the "fire" for wedding planning. Whenever people ask me how it's going, I usually reply with a one-word answer and try to focus on something different, usually the honeymoon or our house or our dog...anything but wedding details. I feel guilty that I'm not more excited at this point. I've been racking my brain lately trying to figure out why I'm doing this.

Am I excited to be married? Absolutely! Am I excited to celebrate the day with our closest friends and family? Absolutely! So what's the problem?

Today I had a bit of a "Eureka!" moment. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that despite blogging for almost a year now, and silently planning my wedding in my head before that, it never really occurred to me WHY this is such a challenge.

One's wedding has two sides --- 2 separate, distinct parts. The first part, and the most important, is about committing to marriage with the person you love, and celebrating that with your family and friends. The other, and the part that is often CONSIDERED more important but isn't, is the actual planning of an event. It's the details, the timing, the vendors -- everything associated with a party.

When one graduates college, what do people ask you? "Are you excited to graduate?" "Any job prospects?" "Where will you be heading next?" -- not "Are you having monogrammed napkins at your party?" or "What color is your cap and gown?"

So why is it that weddings are treated differently? Of that, I'm not sure.

But what I do know is that I cannot wait to be marrying Thomas. Period. The party, as they say, is small potatoes. Our marriage is what is to be celebrated, not our choice of flowers.


Marie said...

I think people ask these questions because they assume you are excited to be getting married or else you wouldn't be doing it. The want to show how excited they are by asking questions and trying to be involved. But that is just my two cents.

My Happenings and Thoughts said...

Beth- Thanks for this post, really! As I am just starting to plan a wedding I know that I too will endure this type of conversations. I'm so happy for you and Tom! and I will keep this in my mind as I plan away.